More Thoughts on Risk
Disappointment. Lost Opportunities. I've been rummaging through my emotions these last few days as the reality that my 'picture-perfect dream' for Di is simply not going to happen. During my search, I've discovered much.
First, just because I cannot control the outcome does not mean that I stop giving. Is my giving solely dependent upon specific results? If missions, and church for that matter, are only 'successful' when 'our' certain results are achieved, I believe we have all missed the mark.
My desired result for Di is a strong faith and school. Perhaps, God's desired result for her is simply the first, a strong faith. How does one obtain strong faith? It is not a gift some other human being can offer. Strong faith can only come through fire-testing. Just because the year didn't have my desired end (pretty package of me taking her to Copan and setting her on the road to the next stage in her life), doesn't mean that this year was not valuable... for me and for her.
Who defines a valuable end? a worthwhile effort?
God is the God of the tiny, the broken, the unsuccessful in the world's eyes... He is the One who cares even about the results that do not meet our North American definition of 'results.' He cares about Di's eternity.
Our job here is to take risks on children who deserve a chance. What that means is that some risks will produce a reward that we view as a reward... other risks will produce fruit that might look different, but still be a reward... and some risks which may appear to have produced an opposite outcome today, perhaps tomorrow will produce a reward that we don't even recognize.
In ways, this post is disjointed. I suppose my rummaging continues...
Love gives absolutely; without expectation of a certain result. If love is conditioned upon an outcome, it is not love, it is compulsion.
First, just because I cannot control the outcome does not mean that I stop giving. Is my giving solely dependent upon specific results? If missions, and church for that matter, are only 'successful' when 'our' certain results are achieved, I believe we have all missed the mark.
My desired result for Di is a strong faith and school. Perhaps, God's desired result for her is simply the first, a strong faith. How does one obtain strong faith? It is not a gift some other human being can offer. Strong faith can only come through fire-testing. Just because the year didn't have my desired end (pretty package of me taking her to Copan and setting her on the road to the next stage in her life), doesn't mean that this year was not valuable... for me and for her.
Who defines a valuable end? a worthwhile effort?
God is the God of the tiny, the broken, the unsuccessful in the world's eyes... He is the One who cares even about the results that do not meet our North American definition of 'results.' He cares about Di's eternity.
Our job here is to take risks on children who deserve a chance. What that means is that some risks will produce a reward that we view as a reward... other risks will produce fruit that might look different, but still be a reward... and some risks which may appear to have produced an opposite outcome today, perhaps tomorrow will produce a reward that we don't even recognize.
In ways, this post is disjointed. I suppose my rummaging continues...
Love gives absolutely; without expectation of a certain result. If love is conditioned upon an outcome, it is not love, it is compulsion.
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