Pondering 'loyalty' these days... what does that word mean to you in relation to friendship? I'm sorting through my thoughts and would love to hear yours?
For the first time in possibly my whole life, I have a circle of like 5 really loyal friends. We're like Sex and the City but Baptists.
A loyal friend doesn't judge you if your kid throws a tantrum. Would be genuinely and truly happy for you if your husband got a ridiculous promotion. Doesn't try to compete with you. Doesn't secretly hate you (how many woman friendships are like that?!). Doesn't covet you or look down on you. Tells you like it is. Defends you if someone speaks ill of you.
This seems to be a very popular item of discussion lately among my friends! I also agree with everything that the above women stated, and I would like to add that a loyal and "true" friend is someone you can be 100% yourself around. You can be vulnerable and honest with each other and have no fear of judgement or regret for showing who you are.
I think my focus may be on Lara's last sentence... 'defends you if someone speaks ill of you.' How often do you defend your friends when someone else speaks ill of them? How often do you speak ill of your very own friends?
Just wondering. In fact, I've really been wondering this for about 25 years.
gotta comment on the last sentence of your first paragraph posted at 3:25 on June 10th....If you are speaking ill of your own friends, are they really your friends? .....I'm just sayin'....
Loyalty in friendship: I agree with all the things above. As well I think loyalty in friendship has to require real humility and a lack of expectations and it never judges. It is unconditional love . . . meaning that if my dearest christian friend who may even be a mentor to me suddenly tells me she's getting a divorce, forsaking her faith, abandoning her children (the worst things I could think of) I still love her, I don't badmouth her, I don't permit others in my presence to badmouth her and reach out to her with unconditional love. I think a lot of friendships today seek the best of each other and even expect the best of each other, but few seek the best FOR each other.
All that said, I consider you a loyal, dear friend.
The Bible says that friends love at all times, and I Corinthians 13 defines that love!!!
One of my favorite songs that I sing with my kids from that passage: "Love is patient; love is kind . . . never jealous, proud or rude. Love does not demand it's way against the wrongs that others due. Love is sad about injustice, but rejoices when the truth prevails. Love protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails!!!"
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A loyal friend doesn't judge you if your kid throws a tantrum. Would be genuinely and truly happy for you if your husband got a ridiculous promotion. Doesn't try to compete with you. Doesn't secretly hate you (how many woman friendships are like that?!). Doesn't covet you or look down on you. Tells you like it is. Defends you if someone speaks ill of you.
I would also add: A loyal friend knows the hard questions to ask, and asks them anyway.....and then is there for you when you answer them.
Knows you are a George sometimes and can see you in your George moments, still love you just as much, but will gently call you out on them.
I love that I have a handful of friends who meet all of this criteria and am so thankful that you are one of them.
Just wondering. In fact, I've really been wondering this for about 25 years.
What is 'speaking ill' exactly? How do we define gossip?
Liz - don't every worry that I might speak ill about you, girl. Not gonna happen!
All that said, I consider you a loyal, dear friend.
The Bible says that friends love at all times, and I Corinthians 13 defines that love!!!
One of my favorite songs that I sing with my kids from that passage: "Love is patient; love is kind . . . never jealous, proud or rude. Love does not demand it's way against the wrongs that others due. Love is sad about injustice, but rejoices when the truth prevails. Love protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails!!!"