Adoption Revisited

In light of the recent story on the Russian adoption gone horribly wrong, the JCIS (Joint Council on International Children Services) asked adoptive parents to blog about their adoption. This is an effort to make sure the truth about adoption is not obscured by the negative publicity over one family's story.

I will say upfront that I absolutely sympathize with a Mom who thinks she might be in over her head. I sympathize with a Mom trying to love a child not born of her womb. I sympathize with a Mom who might not have the proper information and resources to raise the child she 'picked.'

That being said, I must say that I think it is inexcusable that any human being would put a child on an international flight with a 'handler' that she found on the internet. Unspeakable.

If you've read this blog or read our lives for any length of time, you know that we are HUGE proponents of adoption. We certainly believe that children belong, first and foremost if possible, with the biological Daddy and Mommy that God gave them. However... as we all know, there have always been children for whom this ideal situation does not come to pass.

With the devastation of disease and war, third world countries have truly millions of orphans. With abuse and neglect, our country has a very large number of social orphans. And there are parents who make the very unselfish decision that their children should be raised by someone who is able to meet their needs. These are the faces of the orphan.

Without adoption, what would happen to these children? I remember hearing stories of adoption when I was growing up. It was a hush, hush thing and we weren't supposed to ever mention that the child was adopted. Looking back now it makes me sad... for everyone.

Adoption is a reflection of God's unconditional, determined love for all. His love does not stop because I'm not properly behaving or because I am an emotional wreck. His love does not stop if I'm not properly 'attached.' His love does. not. stop.

The news stories hint that the problem in the Russian adoption was Reactive Attachment Disorder. Oh yes, I am familiar with this term. I have lived with this diagnosis placed on one of our children. We have walked through days of not knowing if the therapy would work. And, ultimately, just this year, we walked into the sunshine of realization that God has provided a way for this child to love his family. He is attached.

I've written more about Attachment in Adoption in another post. That post reflects a tiny piece of my heart as we walked our little guy through attachment problems.

For today, I urge you to not entertain conversations with people who judge adoption as black or white. I urge you to find adoptive families who are plowing through the challenges to be your model. I urge you to look to God's Word and see how many times He speaks of adoption, how many times He speaks of the orphan, the fatherless, the cast aside. That is what we base our opinions on... that is the Truth that we live.


Denise said…
This is him--the little boy I fell in love with on the video. What a precious face!

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