Loving Recklessly...

It is late. I should be sleeping. And yet...

I'm re-reading the book Reckless Faith by Beth Guckenberger. Honestly, I should add this book to my previous post about Breaking Hearts. The author and her husband picked up and moved to Monterrey, Mexico to do just what God has placed on our hearts to do... love orphans. I'm inspired by the snapshots she presents... in vivid color; living, breathing examples of a God who delivers on His promises to care for the orphan.

Here I sit, sleepless.

"Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is, destroys that life. But, if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal. If any of you wants to serve Me, then follow Me. Then you'll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment's notice." John 12:24-26 Message

I'll admit, the Message is not my typical reading. It is a paraphrase, rather than a translation. However, this passage moves me... and I believe it is correct in principle.

My living recklessly began with a signature on a dotted line. The signature wasn't mine; it was my husband's. The signature assumed responsibility for a tiny girl, temporarily ours. I was too caught up in her to be able to sign anything. She needed a bath, she needed clothes, she needed a Mommy. I was the closest thing around to provide. She was our first foster baby.

Reckless... the word can bring about images of irresponsibility. However, it can also reflect adventure and walking without regard to worldly consequences. I'll take the latter definition here and run with that one...

Being the type A person I was before Christ arrived and captivated my life, recklessness was not in my vocabulary. In fact, I worked very, very diligently so that I would never be labeled reckless; only responsible and in control.

But with that little one, that sweet brown-skinned beauty, reckless love was born. Loving her awakened me from a lethargic slumber, ignorant of the real needs of anyone but myself.

As reckless love has grown inside my heart, I've found it impossible to hold anything else there. For a bit, I tried to hold tight to all of my worldly possessions and my family while attempting to reach out to others. I found such a task truly impossible. My choice was obvious. I could spend a lifetime clinging to my perceived security or I could love other people recklessly; but I could not do both. I simply did not and do not now have the ability to do both. Maybe you can hold all of these things in your heart at the same time ... if you can, I applaud you.

Ultimately, with God's constant prodding, I was able to make the most freeing choice... to love. While the world wages war, literally and figuratively, around me, I will continue to choose the deep, satisfying, soul-quenching task of being truly alive. I will dig for that treasure in others buried beneath the dirty and unattractive. I will be filled by God's Holy Spirit and be poured out for as many days as I have left. And I will do it joyfully, thankfully and, above all else.... recklessly.


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