Edited 7/29/09... my heart is to encourage us to choose words carefully. Please understand my motive is not to discourage questions or inquiry from sincere hearts.

Why am I amazed at stereotypes? Why do I continually drop my jaw in shock when generalizations about adoption come up?

You've probably heard by now about the new movie out, Orphans. This movie is an over-the-top negative portrayal of adoption. The movie and its premise makes me sad. Fear binds us and keeps us from so many things.

Inquisitive people have expressed similar fears to us as those created by this Hollywood movie. How do you know that your adopted kids won't turn out to be delinquent? Don't you worry that they will tear your family apart with their problems? And so on. As I've said before, I do not begrudge questions... I love them from people whose hearts are sincerely interested. However, I do not believe that generalizations about fostering and adoption serve any positive purpose.

Parenting is not easy; not with a biological child, not with an adopted child.
Do we say to biological parents, "Oh, aren't you worried about whether that baby you're having will wreck your family?" or "Maybe you shouldn't have that child, what if he/she turns out to be a drug dealer?"

Our world is a sinful one. We all feel the effects of individual sin and collective sin. Fostering and adoption is simply no different. There are a persons who are capable of handling the needs of neglected, drug-exposed babies, there are others who are capable of handling the needs of severely abused teens. We all are not equipped for the same tasks. And there are no guarantees. Our biological and adopted kids are individuals, with choices to make... Their choices may be very different from mine, in fact, I pray they are! Does the fear of the possible outcome make me give up on them and abandon the task of parenting? Ummm, no. I simply have to dig in deeper.

All of this being said, the assumptions about foster care and adoption just have to go. Please, if you find yourself about to utter such falsehood about a subject you are unfamiliar with, restrain your tongue. Just because your best friend's second cousin had a bad experience with adoption doesn't mean that adoption itself is horrible and filled with axe murderers. You never know who might just listen to what you are saying and take it as truth. Instead, point to the thousands of examples of adoptive families who see adoption as something very different - as a glimpse of the heart of God.

Climbing down from my soapbox,

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