To live in the grit and grime of this broken world leaves much space for loss.   Profound loss.   Loss that feels permanent and even destructive to the soul.

In the face of such undoing, what remains?

The cliche 'one person's loss is another's gain'  provides little comfort.  Yes, in death, we see that earthly loss amounts to heaven's gain.   In a cerebral way, this feels acceptable.  Yet, in terms of filling the emotional void, it provides little.

Playing my mind games, I can count the ways to find gain in the loss.  I can list the ways my life was irrevocably altered by her life, enumerate the tangible moments that live in my heart.   With this, I try to accelerate the healing process for my own survival.  At the end of the day, loss is truly loss.

To try to quickly gloss our losses with the vibrant colors of gain, reduces a healing soul to a mechanical process.    Soul-gains are discovered slowly; beauty emerges from ashes over time.  

Her life poured out, her losses and gains extensive... her beauty rose from the earthly ashes;  her soul feels its worth today and tomorrow and forever.

Friend, we grieve deeply, we love fiercely, we fight with our eyes full of tears, we laugh to survive and we anxiously await...

Because of you.

Katrina Jo Ryan Engle
Missionary to La Mosquitia for 25 years
Left fingerprints of Christ's love all over the region, touching every family
Beautiful soul, lover of Jesus, lover of people, mama to many and friend to all
Well done, friend!  Rest in peace!


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