Thoughts on Marriage
Long-neglected, but not forgotten... my blog.
So, I'll just jump right in, I suppose.
I'm still a learner. God help me if this perspective ever changes. As I make my way around town, day-to-day, 100% of the time I'm the one who is challenged by the things I find, by the people I meet.
A few examples...
I sat in a small outdoor kitchen with two women about my age and 10 of our kids. They had heard about the school and were eager to flesh out the details of how they could contribute and if I would grant their daughters a position in the school.
One lady asked me if we had any extra rice, I said yes and that Alex could bring it to her the next day. Somehow we got on the subject of my husband. They both told me they were a bit scared of him because of his size. I said something like, 'Well, he really is just a softie. He doesn't hit or scream and I love him.' After I said, 'He doesn't hit me', their jaws dropped in disbelief.
Seriously.
They could not fathom that a man, a husband, did not hit his wife. Culturally, this is the norm. I have heard with my own ears women say that because their man hits them, they know he loves them.
Does this hurt your heart like it does mine?
Along those lines, I will share that legal marriage itself is not a common thing around here. There is a relationship called a 'free union' that most couples see as their best option. Why? Because to legally marry is expensive AND they don't want to divorce because divorce is against God's law.
The irony of this statement is not lost on me.
I do know one family that has 9 kids where the husband and wife are still together and all of the children are of the union of these two... same dad, same mom. This couple lives in our new neighborhood. They are as poor as can be, but they are all living together in a small Habitat for Humanity home. Their youngest child was born with hydrocephalus; she was a twin, but her twin died early on. This family appears faithful to their church and the father appears hard-working and extraordinarily knowledgeable about gardening (more on this later). We do not yet know if their marriage is 'legal' or not...
What do you think about this? Is it so abhorrent to you that you would not get close to these women or can you accept this as a cultural norm and a starting place for building a relationship?
Can you see yourself loving these women or judging them? Why or why not?
Where do you think Jesus would begin?
I think of the woman at the well... living water, Jesus sees it all and while not minimizing 'all of it', He offers something different, something that will leave a lasting, forever impression.
Just some thoughts for a rainy Saturday.
So, I'll just jump right in, I suppose.
I'm still a learner. God help me if this perspective ever changes. As I make my way around town, day-to-day, 100% of the time I'm the one who is challenged by the things I find, by the people I meet.
A few examples...
I sat in a small outdoor kitchen with two women about my age and 10 of our kids. They had heard about the school and were eager to flesh out the details of how they could contribute and if I would grant their daughters a position in the school.
One lady asked me if we had any extra rice, I said yes and that Alex could bring it to her the next day. Somehow we got on the subject of my husband. They both told me they were a bit scared of him because of his size. I said something like, 'Well, he really is just a softie. He doesn't hit or scream and I love him.' After I said, 'He doesn't hit me', their jaws dropped in disbelief.
Seriously.
They could not fathom that a man, a husband, did not hit his wife. Culturally, this is the norm. I have heard with my own ears women say that because their man hits them, they know he loves them.
Does this hurt your heart like it does mine?
Along those lines, I will share that legal marriage itself is not a common thing around here. There is a relationship called a 'free union' that most couples see as their best option. Why? Because to legally marry is expensive AND they don't want to divorce because divorce is against God's law.
The irony of this statement is not lost on me.
I do know one family that has 9 kids where the husband and wife are still together and all of the children are of the union of these two... same dad, same mom. This couple lives in our new neighborhood. They are as poor as can be, but they are all living together in a small Habitat for Humanity home. Their youngest child was born with hydrocephalus; she was a twin, but her twin died early on. This family appears faithful to their church and the father appears hard-working and extraordinarily knowledgeable about gardening (more on this later). We do not yet know if their marriage is 'legal' or not...
What do you think about this? Is it so abhorrent to you that you would not get close to these women or can you accept this as a cultural norm and a starting place for building a relationship?
Can you see yourself loving these women or judging them? Why or why not?
Where do you think Jesus would begin?
I think of the woman at the well... living water, Jesus sees it all and while not minimizing 'all of it', He offers something different, something that will leave a lasting, forever impression.
Just some thoughts for a rainy Saturday.
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