Revisiting 2009 - God's Precious Hands
Found this old post from December of 2009 about a young lady who is now completely part of me... almost 3 years ago I met her and had no idea that we would be friends today. She loves me with innocence and I love her with the protection of a mama. Her biological mama is also now a friend ... a friend who struggles daily with a wicked addiction. This post spoke to me about just how much God is in the details!!!
As I've written in the past, I've often struggled with people pleasing and the 'fear of man' as the Bible puts it. Wouldn't you know that this area would be my weakest and the most obvious to target in preparation for mission work!
A cloud of insecurity permeated the air early this week. It was like a bad coat, just hanging on and leaving me with static electricity. For 4 days this ridiculousness continued. I was just sure that I would have no friends on the Mosquito Coast; I was just sure that no one would like me there; I was just sure that God couldn't use lay people in mission work. Gag!
Thursday morning... the cloud was removed and so I share this story to emphasize God's personal relational nature. He does care about the details of our struggles. He knows me, He knows that I love people and want deep, honest relationships. He knows that I feel ill-equipped. He is the One who put this burden for children on my heart, so obviously He's the One to remind me of it!
I'm working away on a Christmas newsletter for Mama Tara's orphanage. We decided to do a profile of one of the children. The Board selected a child and sent me her story so that I could put it in my own words. I opened the e-mail Thursday morning and read the story of a beautiful girl treated brutally by people who should have loved her. I read of a face that would not smile, a heart that would not trust, a mind that could not hope or dream. And then I found this picture from our trip...
And I realized that through the love of Christ, shown by short-term missionaries and Mama Tara, the tiny child that was described in that e-mail message had no resemblance to the blooming young lady I met 6 years later. Praise God!
Strangely, the Lord then led me to read the book of Amos. I say strangely because the pages in that area of my Bible are largely still stuck together. I've probably never read Amos. But here in Amos 7, God spoke to my heart about our lack of training.
"Then Amos replied to Amaziah, "I am not a prophet, nor am I the son of a prophet; for I am a herdsman and a grower of sycamore figs. But the LORD took me from following the flock and the LORD said to me, 'Go prophesy to My people Israel.'" Amos 7:14-15
Amos was not a professional prophet; he was a layperson called for a specific task. Alex and I are not professional missionaries or even trained theologians; we are laypersons in love with the God of the universe. We both have ugly choices in our past, we have warts and wrinkles of the literal and figurative kind. We have almost nothing to offer Him... except all of ourselves. Will He not call someone like that? He has called people without skill throughout the ages. I believe He delights in using the seemingly useless... He then gets the credit.
I believe I will have a friend in Puerto Lempira. I don't know her name right now; I don't even speak her language well enough to share my heart with her. But I will. And she and I will laugh over coffee one day as I share my past doubts about God meeting this very basic desire of my heart. And I'm sure we will pray over the greater burdens that plague me, the greater doubts that cloud my days, the greater battles that rise in my mind. And I'm sure that my God will continue to lead me until the work He has for me is complete. And I promise you, the credit will be obviously His... there will be no other explanation.